Bloggin from Saudi

Bloggin' From Saudi


Day 46 - Post 19
 
I took off today from work. After my conversation last night with Ambassador Patterson I am terrified to meet with Mr. Budwai. Patterson claimed he had a conversation with my boss that will forever alter our relationship. I don't doubt Patterson. The man is a terror that hates me. Speaking of terror, we decided that it was probably good to have a sit down with Patricia to discuss the other bombshell that Patterson laid on us - she's hanging out with the Sunshine Lollipop Terrorist gang.
 
"Patricia, are you good? Is school good?" I asked her.

She looked down and spoke in a low voice - "Um, I'm not allowed to go to school. This is Saudi Arabia. I spend my days in isolation hoping one day that we will return to the West".

 
Nothing I hate worse than self-pity.
"You can't spell optimism without 'I'. I declared.
 
"Father, are you mentally challenged?" Patricia asked me with a smirk.
 
Total disrespect, It's not like I'm not the one in a terrorist gang.
"Terrorism is a mental disorder. Did you know that Patricia?"
 
She started to walk out.
 
"Am I not getting to you? Do you think the Sunshine Lollipop Group is just for fun?"
 
She turned around and pulled out a poster and handed it to me, it read:

THE SUNSHINE LOLLIPOP GROUP, FIGHTING SAUDI YOUTH DEPRESSION SINCE THE DAYS OF AL-SHEIKH-SAUD

 
I was shocked. What kind of person would go to these lengths to deny the truth.

Bloggin' From Saudi

Day 45 - Post 18 - Trouble Trouble Trouble

Do you remember when I told you about my letter to Ambassador Patterson?  Well, he came to my home today to directly respond to that correspondence and some other matters. Not pleasant.

Ambassador Patterson barged into the house with three of his diplomatic security guards. They started roughing up our place, going through the drawers and basically all of our stuff.

"What are you doing!" I yelled.

He smacked me and then said, "Shut it Tim, I'm the law here and we got business with you!"

I started crying. I don't like getting slapped. 

He smacked me again.

"Why are you smacking me?"  I cried.

"I don't know, I just thought it might calm you down. My apologies, I'm not very diplomatic." He responded.

"But you are a diplomat!" I said, wiping the tears from my eyes.

"Actually no. I was appointed by the President because I was one of his favorite golf caddies. I hate this job, and I hate trolls like you that promote terrorism."

The ambassador then sat down.

"Is it possible by the way to get some tea" He inquired from Jill.

"Oh certainly your honor, what would you like?" Jill asked.

"Mint please"

"Coming right up," Jill said perkily.

"Why are you doing this? What are you looking for?" I asked again.

"We are searching for more information about your daughter Patricia, we suspect she runs with the Sunshine Lollipop Terrorist group."

Then the Ambassador pulled out a file with a picture of Patricia and 4 Arab men.

I was shocked.

"That's Bethany with her friends Nick, Howie, Brian and A.J, how do you have that?"

Bloggin' From Saudi

Day 40 – Post 17

A chat with the ladies

“But dad........”

Lately, whining is all I hear out of my daughters Bethany and Patricia. They want to drive the family car but the problem in Saudi Arabia is that women aren't allowed. If a woman is caught driving she will be stoned. Simple fact of life around here. I don't see it as a huge deal but the whining has convinced me that I must address a more important issue - my remaining sane.

Bloggin' From Saudi

Bloggin From Saudi - Day 35 - Post 16

Cultural Differences????

“Nothing bad ever happened to anyone that ate a Ham sandwich, so eat it and stop your complaining”

That's what my mother told me growing up, but that sage advice isn't what occurred to me today.

Bloggin' From Saudi

Bloggin' From Saudi - Day 29 - Post 15-UGHHH HHHHH HHHH HHHHH HHHHHhh Joy won't stop harassing me about the incident last week with the handy man. She keeps saying it's indicative of greater problems of oppression and terror in Saudi Arabia and that we need to address it or move out. Problem is I love my job at AbdAbd Technologies, which I refuse to jeopardize simply because of this stupid event. It's not my fault she can't read a Saudi phonebook.

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